Ten Tips for Building Dynamite Relationships by Pat Swan, M.S., Life and
Relationship Coach, Speaker, Trainer and Author
Relationships hold a high place for most of us, especially women. We
want great relationships with clear communication, empathy,
understanding, mutual trust and friendship and fantastic sex - we want
DYNAMITE RELATIONSHIPS.
But what do we get much of the time? Relationships loaded with
communication
problems, irritability, conflict, misunderstandings, blame, hurt and
anger! If you have a relationship like this you know what I mean. Stress
grows and settles in your muscles and organs and you develop
fibromyalgia, migraines, stomach problems, anxiety and depression.
Loyalty, tradition and fear of failure demand we stay. We try again and
again to fix the problems, ignore the fighting, and say the same thing
for the tenth time with different words. Do you identify with this
situation? Perhaps you stuff resentment and deny personal needs for the
sake of the relationship. You experience little explosions on a daily
basis and feel constantly on edge. Then it's Monday morning and we play
pretend again for another week.
Walking through these relationship mine fields is hazardous to your
health.
The longer that relationship stress goes on, the longer your immune
system is shut down, and the longer your muscles and organs are exposed
to dangerous stress hormones. You are at risk. If you have an illness,
it will get worse. If you have no illness yet, you will likely get one.
What can you do? Whatever you do, don't wait! Magical thinking tells us
that it will change on its own. It won't. You have to change. Your
health and well being depend on it. But the good news is, you can make a
difference. It is not necessarily a lost cause.
Here are the top ten tips for building DYNAMITE RELATIONSHIPS.
1.Get to know yourself, inside and out. Know what you want and need.
Know what you like. Determine your values and priorities. Write them
down. Believe in yourself and don't compromise.
2.Choose healthy relationships from the start. Don't go out looking for
a red dress and settle for beige! Don't be desperate - be choosey!
3.Move slowly and develop a strong foundation. Don't get enmeshed in an
emotional relationship before you see the hazards and recognize the
danger.
4.Nurture good relationships. Take the first step to schedule a get
together or just chat on the phone.
5.Develop excellent communication and conflict resolution skills, and
use them. This in itself can drastically change a relationship.
6.Develop assertiveness skills. Passive people ignore their needs and
get walked on. Aggressive people walk on others to get what they want.
Assertive people learn to get their needs met without walking on anyone.
7.Learn to really listen. Listen with body, mind and spirit.
8.Be self-aware. When a misunderstanding happens, check it out. Be sure
you have all the information. Determine what part you played in the
situation.
9.Develop intuition and body awareness so you can identify relationship
stress in your body immediately, as it is happening. Then deal with it
appropriately before it gets deadly.
10.Lose the denial. If something isn't right, deal with it. Don't play
pretend and wake up too late. All relationships have misunderstandings.
It's how we deal with them that counts.
If you find yourself struggling with your relationships, new or long
term, don't wait! The window of opportunity for change is narrow. Anger
and resentment destroy relationships, even good ones. Life and
Relationship Coaching can help you reach your goals and develop the
DYNAMITE RELATIONSHIPS you desire.
About the Author
Pat Swan, M.S., Life and Relationship Coach, Speaker, Trainer and
Author. Check out her ebook, "Watch Out! Your Relationships Can Be
Hazardous To Your Health." Available at
www.StopRelationshipStress.com Call for a FREE 30 minute
introductory coaching session today. 262-642-5706,
mailto:pat@patswan.com ,
http://www.RelationshipSkillville.com;
http://www.StopRelationshipStress.com .
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